Do you remember the book, “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.” by Judy Blume? Maybe I’m aging myself but this book was about a sixth-grade girl going through the typical challenges a teenager endures. She has a lot of questions and talks to God on a personal level and even gets angry with God and refused to talk to Him. Have you ever felt this way? Like, God I’ve been praying to You about this and I still don’t see any change. Have you ever been angry with God? Well, here’s my transparent moment, I have! I’ve felt God was ignoring me, couldn’t hear me, couldn’t see me or just didn’t care. I’ve felt anger towards God and I have to admit my faith waivered. I felt like Margaret and said, “God are You really there”? I know many will say, how can you question God or who are you to question God. Well, my answer to that would be; I’m someone who was praying God’s word back to Him and wasn’t seeing my prayers being answered. I’m someone who obeyed God and did what He told me and still didn’t see change. I’m someone who took God’s word for what it said and questioned what have I done so bad that He will not answer me. And I do not regret questioning God; I do not regret being angry with Him because it drew me closer to Him. It made me look at myself and seek God for change. It made me question Him more about His will and purpose for my life. It made me want to show God and others, I can handle all He’s put on me to bear in this season.
In Jeremiah 1:5, God’s word tells us He (God) knew us before He formed us in our mother’s womb. He knew EVERYTHING about us, the good, the bad and the ugly. He knew every trail, difficulty, pain, etc. we would endure. He knew what we could and couldn’t handle. He knew exactly where you would be during this time of your life before you were born. I’ve been at a place in my life when I asked God, why would You let this happen. You have the power to stop it, yet You allow it. Here I am praying to You, doing what You ask of me, trusting You and yet I don’t see where things are getting better. And then the anger settled in. I begin to question if God was there for me; was He hearing me. If so, why wasn’t He answering me; why weren’t things getting better in my marriage; why aren’t doors of opportunities opening for me; why was I feeling alone; why, why, why! I would pray for other people and would see God move on their behalf but for me, nothing. I began to think there’s no need of praying for myself because God wasn’t answering prayers concerning me. I began to doubt John 14:13 that says, “You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” I remember saying God doesn’t do what we ask; if He did the issues or concerns I have wouldn’t still exist. I was so busy focusing on the problems in my life, I wasn’t seeing God move in areas (looking back) that were more important. God had me in a place where I was completely dependent on Him. There was nothing no one else could do for me, other than pray. In order for things to change, only God could do it. I wanted God to change things my way but it wasn’t about me, it was about Him. I couldn’t see that. I had a plan and a timeline I wanted God to follow and when He didn’t my faith waivered.
But thank God for community! It’s important who you are connected to. If you are connected to the wrong people, when you need them to pull you out from the attack of the enemy (let’s face it, when you are doubting God, it’s because the enemy has been talking in your ear against God). My community consist of people around the world! God has allowed me to connect with people that I have met face to face and people I’ve only talked to online. But when you are connected to God, He drops you in your community’s spirit and they began to pray for you and you feel a sense of peace or a load being lifted. There was one day on this journey, I had such a heaviness. Nothing was going the way I wanted, I was doubting God and angry. My mom called my aunt and they formed a prayer circle around me and prayed. When I tell you that heaviness was lifted and the peace & joy of God fell on me so heavy! I was in a situation where joy should have been far removed from me; I shouldn’t have had a positive word coming from my lips. But God! When I couldn’t pray for myself, my community could. The joy and peace I have now, is because I know God is in control. He has shown me why things could not work the way I wanted them to at this time. I can now say, thank You God for the trials and not giving me what I wanted when I wanted it. God has greater for us, but we must trust Him to get us to the greater. Yes, we will endure trials, but we must remember Jesus has already overcome every trial we will endure. We must turn to Him for strength and trust He will never leave us nor forsake us; He’s there even when it seems as if He’s not. I come to you today to encourage you to endure. Whatever you may be going through, keep pressing and trusting God. It’s always for your good and His glory!
Be blessed…love y’all for real!