We often hear people say, whatever you speak you will see. The Bible tells us “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). So, if you speak negatively (death) then you will only see the negative; if you speak positively (life) you will see the positive. When it comes to your marriage and your spouse, are you speaking life or are you speaking death? I view it this way, if you focus in on the negative in any situation, then that is what you will speak; but if you focus in on the positive, then that is way you will speak.
I often sit and think, why in marriage people tend to focus on the negatives of their spouse or marriage, overlooking all the good; but, they do not want their spouse focusing in on their own negative attributes. This is a selfish act. When you only think of yourself in the positive light and want to blame or point out the negative in your spouse, then you are only focusing on self. When the two of you said your vows the two of you became one; that means the positive and the negative reflects you both. One thing I do not like to see/hear is a spouse talking negatively about their marriage or spouse to other people. When you speak negative, it reflects your character. While you may think this gets people on your side, to see your view of your spouse and marriage, it may have the reverse effect and cause people to look at you differently because of the way you speak of your spouse and marriage. When you have a problem with your spouse, talk to them and not other people.
We must begin to train our minds to think only positive thoughts. You can go to the Bible and read scriptures that speak positively about your situation. Meditate on and pray those scriptures back to God. You can write out your own prayers or daily affirmations that speak life into your marriage and spouse. We must remember the things we speak comes from our heart and thoughts. So, if your heart and thoughts does not line up with what God says about you, your spouse or marriage then you need to ask God to transform your thoughts. I found a prayer a few years ago concerning the mind about marriage and I’m going to share it below. It’s an awesome prayer that you can pray daily until your thoughts start to change.
“Purify our mind, Lord. Transform our thoughts by the power of Your word. Show us where and when our thoughts about our marriage/each other do not agree with Your thoughts. Ignite in us an unquenchable desire to see each other as You see them. Let Your Holy Spirit be our husband/wife appreciating coach, pointing out to us their noble and praise worthy attributes.
We must remember what we say to our spouse, about our spouse and marriage will produce. We must keep the word of God in our mouth and His thoughts in our mind so we can have a spouse and marriage the way God intended it to be. No matter what it looks like or what it feels like speak life into your spouse and your marriage. You will begin to see what you speak!
Be blessed….love y’all for real!