As we all know, there are many reasons spouses withdraw from each other. Sometimes the withdrawal period will be a short time; other times it could be a lot longer. None of us like the feeling of a withdrawn spouse and must realize at times it has nothing to do with us but them. The key is to find out why your spouse has withdrawn from you and try to work on it.
Below I have listed the top 10 reasons I think women withdraw from their marriage/spouse.
1. Lack of Appreciation/Respect: When a woman feels unappreciated for all she does for her family, it will cause her to pull away. If she feels her husband does not value her, it can cause her to become resentful to her husband. With most women, it doesn’t take much to show appreciate and respect; learn what makes your wife feel appreciated and just do it. (side note: thank you goes a long way)
2. Time: Or lack thereof…when a woman feels time with her is not important to her man, she will withdraw. Most women love quality time with their man; it doesn’t have to be much involved other than time together. When you put other people, hobbies, things, etc. above your wife it makes her feel unimportant. So, men, make sure you put in time with your wife.
3. Unfaithfulness: (This will cause men and women to withdraw) When a woman finds out her husband has cheated; this will bring about a wide range of emotions, anger, resentment, hate, sadness which could led to depression and insecurities. Insecurities about herself, her marriage and her husband will cause her to withdraw and possible leave her marriage. Unfaithfulness causes distrust in a marriage; once trust has been violated, it’s hard to get it back. If there has been unfaithfulness in your marriage, I suggest an apology then counseling/mentoring to work through it…it will be hard to get through this without help.
4. Lack of Unity: It’s hard to work as a team if there is no unity. A woman must feel her opinion matters and is respected by her husband. There should be unity in every area of the marriage: decision making, finances, kids, etc. Always remember you are one; if you do not agree on something, take the time to work things out and come up with an agreement you both are comfortable with. But the most important thing is to work TOGETHER.
5. Lack of Leadership: Women like for men to lead them. They want their men to have a strong sense of direction and leadership (without being controlling). When a woman feels her husband cannot lead or isn’t leading their family in the right way, this can cause her to lose respect for her husband and of course withdraw from him. Lack of leadership skills in a man can be a turnoff for some women.
6. No Emotional Connection: Women are emotional beings so it is important to her to have a positive emotional bond with her man. Different issues/situations that can arise in your marriage can cause the emotional disconnect between the spouses. I know it can be challenging at times for men to let their guard down and let their wives in but to connect with your wife you must be vulnerable and let her in.
7. Financial Stress: Financial stress can break anyone down. The fear of losing your home, not able to feed your kids or provide for their needs is stressful. Normally, the husband deals with the financial stress but the wife deals with the financial stress plus the stress of her husband and trying to keep it all together so the kids aren’t affected by it. Men like to take on everything so their family doesn’t have to; but then the stress of it all weighs down on them and most times they end up taking it out on their wife. When a wife is feeling beat down by her husband she can become harden and thus pull away from him. The best way to handle financial stress in your marriage is to sit down and come up with a financial plan to make sure all money is spent wisely; never let the stress of it break the bond you have with your spouse.
8. Insecurities: There are numerous reasons a wife can feel insecure in her marriage and when she is feeling a lack of security she’s going to disconnect. Insecurities can cause a woman to lose her confidence, develop self-esteem issues, become depressed, etc. The insecurities may or may not be warranted but she will need her husband to step in and build her confidence back concerning him and their marriage. You have to get to the root of the issue.
9. No Support: Women are often the backbone of their family. They are always supporting their husband and kids in their careers, hobbies, just life. Their support sometimes goes unnoticed because it is the little things or the things that may be taken for granted that often get over looked. No matter how much support she gives, she also needs to receive support. There are dreams your wife may have that she may never mention out loud because she can feel she’s being selfish because this may take me away from my family or we do not have the finances for me to do that right now. She will make excuses not to step out and follow a dream because she doesn’t feel she has the right support. Ask your wife what her dreams are, then ask her what is preventing her from accomplishing them. Afterwards, do all you can to support her in achieving those dreams…after all she does it daily for you even if you don’t know or recognize it.
10. Physical Disconnect: Let’s face it, if at least one of these above is an issue for your wife, you better believe her physical attraction to you will suffer as well. As stated earlier, women are emotional beings and if her husband is connecting to her on an emotional level then she will connect with him on a physical level. There are small things that make a wife attracted to her husband but big things that make her unattracted to him.
For a marriage to thrive, a husband and wife must be connected in every area of their marriage. If there is any disconnect in the marriage, there will be a withdrawal. Take the time to review this list, talk it over with your spouse and make the necessary changes to get the bond back in your marriage.
Be Blessed….love y’all for real,