“R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T take care, TCB.” These famous lyrics, sung by Aretha Franklin, have been many people’s anthem for decades. Webster defines respect: “a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important etc.; a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious and should be treated in an appropriate way.” Respect means different things for different people. When it comes to any relationship, we all want respect. We want to be admired by others for our accomplishments on our job; we want our spouse to value us and make us feel important to them; we want our children to take us serious. But what happens when they don’t? What happens when your boss or coworkers don’t acknowledge what you do on the job? What happens when that spouse doesn’t spend time with you and make you feel important? What happens when the kids don’t take you serious? You feel disrespected! You feel as if all that you do and sacrifice is going unnoticed by those around you. Or could it be, that you view respect as one way and any other way is unacceptable? Meaning, your coworkers may not verbally say great job but they recognize your hard work and value to the company; your spouse may not show value the way you think they should like buying you a gift but they were willing to take on a chore that you normally do. We have a right to view respect the way we do, but we can’t get upset when others don’t view respect the same way. What you have to do, especially when it comes to your spouse, is let them know what makes you feel important and valued in the marriage. As a SAHM (stay at home mom), often I don’t feel important or valuable; at times I feel like everyone take what I do for granted or it’s not as important. But then I had to take a step back and realize how my family shows respect. My boys have now started to help clean up their toys at the end of the day instead of standing by and watching mommy do it. My husband will buy appliances or products that will help me accomplish a cooking or cleaning task around the house. See, if I stay focused on what I think they should be doing, then I will miss out on the things they are doing. A lot of times we are stuck in our thinking on what we think and anything that is different from our thinking, we deem as wrong, disrespectful. Now to the opposite end of this, would be when your spouse is being disrespectful and again you have to determine what you feel is disrespectful. But we should focus in on our spouse and their needs and make sure we aren’t doing anything that would bring disrespect to them. If you are unsure, ask. We should always communicate our thoughts, feelings, wants, etc. to our spouse. They should be the one person you can always go to and have your feelings respected. So, are you being respectful to your spouse? Or are you missing out on the respect your spouse has for you because you are focused on other things?